Thursday, November 7, 2013

We Were A Family, My Darling, Right From The Start.

Thursday, October 10th, was like any other Thursday evening. I did my usual Thursday chores of vacuuming and mopping, enjoyed a home cooked dinner for two, and ran some errands. Daniel was then off to play his usual Thursday night basketball, which left me with no choice but to climb into bed, watch the newest episode of "Parenthood", and enjoy a big bowl of my constant pregnancy craving, Cap'n Crunch Berries. 

Daniel eventually found his way home, jumped in the shower, and joined me in bed. We officially ended the day by kneeling together in prayer and reading a few verses of scripture. As I shut my eyes that night, everything seemed to be perfect; my house was clean, the dishes were done, Daniel's lunch was packed, my best friend was by my side, and my unborn baby was lulling me to sleep with her rhythmic hiccups. However, I was completely unaware that in less than twenty four hours, my life was going to be a whole lot more perfect. 

Due to the fact that I was thirty five weeks pregnant, I was constantly woken throughout the night with the never ending urge to use the restroom. This night was no different, being as I woke that night only two hours after going to bed with the far too familiar feeling. I had made the venture to the bathroom so many times before that the routine was memorized without any need for the assistance of lights. I did the deed and waddled back to bed with every intention of returning to my much needed slumber. 

I laid back in bed and snuggled deep into my blankets when I felt the most uncomfortable sensation. I quickly got up and returned to the bathroom; this time with the lights on. I immediately narrowed down my symptoms to two things. I was either wetting my pajama pants or my water was breaking, but it was too early for either of these things to be happening to me. I was too young to already be unwillingly wetting my pants and I was too early in my pregnancy for my water to be breaking. 

I went back into our room, shook Daniel, and said with a shaky voice, "Daniel, something is happening!" Daniel jumped up and quickly replied, "Well, what's happening?!" I relayed the symptoms I was having and informed him of my two diagnoses. We decided that we had better call the hospital to ease our minds. 

My doctor had a clinic in Pocatello, where I attended all my pregnancy appointments, but he only delivered in Blackfoot at Bingham Memorial Hospital. So, we called Bingham and delivered our liquid filled pants dilemma with the nurse in labor and delivery. She advised us to come up to the hospital to be checked. I was positive at this point, as I sat on a towel in the middle of our room, that my water was breaking with every movement I made. I simply barked orders to my sweet husband while he packed hospital bags for me, himself, and our baby to be. I wasn't feeling any contractions whatsoever, so I took my time putting on make up and instructing Daniel on the necessary items required for giving birth. 

By three in the morning, we were well of our way to Blackfoot. I was still sitting on my towel in the passenger's seat. Daniel was excitedly steering in the driver's seat. I don't remember what song was on the radio, what the traffic was like (although I can bet it was near to none), or what route we took to Bingham, but I do remember the onslaught of emotions that filled our Honda Pilot that early Friday morning. Daniel and I were overwhelmed with excitement, anxiety, fear, and, most of all, love. 

We were quickly and efficiently checked into the hospital shortly after arriving. The nurse confirmed that my water had broke, I was dilated to a two, and we were going to have a baby by the end of the day. Daniel and I couldn't believe this was actually happening. We thought we still have five weeks of preparation before entering the world of parenthood. While the nurse was beginning my IV, we began calling our family members to inform them of our unexpected news. 

Now, Bingham does not have a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit within Labor and Delivery. This projected a problem for the birth of our baby girl. She was clearly going to be premature, and that can come with several life threatening complications. This fact made us, as well as the doctors, uneasy about giving birth at Bingham. Around eight in the morning, the doctors finally decided that it would be best for me to be transported to Portenuef Medical Center where our premie baby would have the ultimate care. I was now dilated to a four and beginning to feel slight contractions as I was strapped down and loaded into the ambulance headed to Pocatello. Now, I will admit, contractions aren't pleasant, but they really aren't pleasant while you're strapped to a stretcher in an ambulance. My motherly instincts had already kicked in, however, because I was just happy to be going somewhere safe for my baby. 

Our arrival to Portenuef couldn't have been better, as they had my epidural there and ready to greet me. That epidural was pure bliss, and I don't know why anyone wouldn't want to bask in that sweet bit of modern medicine. My epidural provided great ease to my contracting pain, but my heart and mind were put to ease when my dad arrived to help Daniel give me a priesthood blessing.

The waiting game ensued for the remainder of the afternoon. Luckily, we had endless visitors to keep us company and help pass the time while we impatiently waited for my tunnel down under to open. My entire family came from school and work and even from out of town to be there for the big arrival. Daniel's parents were also found passing time between our hospital room and the waiting room. 

The afternoon came and went and when evening began to set in, the nurse announced that it was time to have a baby. Once again, those varying emotions returned only amplified. This is what we had been waiting for for so long, meeting our baby girl. 

After two hours of breathing, pushing, counting, a sandwich intermission for Daniel, more breathing, more pushing, and more counting with the help of my sister, Daniel, and a great nurse, Ellisyn Joy Spicer made her debut at 7:48 that October 11th night. It's amazing and awe inspiring to think that another human being entered the room without the door opening. I can't explain the complete happiness that consumes you when you instantly love someone more than yourself. That is true joy, and I feel so blessed to be able to experience, quite possibly, the most wonderful feeling in the world. 

The nurses set Ellisyn on my chest for literally seconds while Daniel was able to cut the umbilical cord. My sweet girl was then quickly rushed to be cleaned and provided oxygen as it was clear her lungs were not fully prepared to provide adequate oxygen to her little 5 pound 11 ounce and 18 1/2 inch body. I was able to hold Ellisyn again for a few more seconds before the nurses swooped her away to the NICU with Daniel close behind. 

I found myself alone, literally, in the hospital room. The doctors were gone. The nurses were gone. Hollie was gone. Daniel was gone. Ellisyn was gone. I had just made my family of two a family of three, but we didn't get the chance to be together as a family. 

My parents, in-laws, and siblings came back to my room to offer some congratulations and look at the quick pictures Hollie was able to capture of the new niece and granddaughter. Daniel eventually came back from the NICU with a few more pictures. He was also able to take the grandparents to see her for the first time. 

Once all our family left and my epidural wore off, Daniel and I were able to make our first of many trips together to that NICU. I don't think I'll ever forget the smells and sounds when I went into that room, and I know I won't forget looking at my newborn baby hooked up to so many machines with her chest sinking and rising with heartbreaking difficulty. We weren't able to hold her. We could only hold her hands or rest our hands on her struggling body.

The following morning, I woke Daniel up bright and early to have him escort me back down to the NICU to see our babe. The nurse immediately informed us that we could hold her for a few minutes. That was the best news we could have heard. I had only held her for those few seconds after she was born. Daniel had never been able to hold his first born. It was such a special few moments until we had to return her to her bed.

The rest of the day was spent going between our hospital room and the NICU, while my mom, mother-in-law, sisters, and sister-in-law threw my baby shower that was scheduled even though I wouldn't be able to attend. I was bummed to be missing my shower, so the girls brought all of my gifts to the hospital and had our own little shower there in my room. Everyone was so kind and thoughtful. We are so lucky to have such wonderful family and friends support our growing family. 

Daniel and I decided to stay one more night at the hospital to be near our Ellisyn as long a possible. Sunday afternoon we were discharged and sent home without our baby and without any indication of when she would be coming home. We had a long road ahead, but it would be alright because we were a family right from the start. 

Hollie, my sister, was able to be our photographer for the entire birthing adventure. We're so grateful that she was there and we absolutely love all the photos she took of our experience. She created this tear jerker of a video to capture the wonderful memory. I know that we will always treasure the video and I know Ellisyn will, too. 

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